Barter


I needed forgiveness
He indulged me
And gave it to me
For the priceless gift of peace

He needed understanding
I indulged myself
I gave it to him
For the priceless gift of love

Let’s Be Friends



Let’s try it once more
My love
We won’t share the world’s pain
This time I’ll be your friend
And make up for all the times we tried
And failed
We can make it this time Friends only
Like each other
I promise not to love you

Depending on one person
For love’s fulfillment
Is silly anyway
The world is full of wandering souls who
Used dependency and lost
Love should never be
Wasted Friendship
Demands so much less

I won’t let your eyes linger too long
Upon my face you might understand again
Or allow my heart to trace the fragrance of
Love’s promises too long remembered
Or let you reach for
My hand
Or hear the need in
Your voice And
I’ll remind myself often
What folly
Love is
Yes we’ll make it this time
My friend I’ll compromise
I promise not to love you too much.


The Jewel


The moon is a jewel tonight
I want to scoop it up in my hands
And put it in my pocket
So when you hurt me again
I can take it from my pocket and
Unwrap it while reminding myself of you.








You



There I go again
Wanting things that
Don’t belong to me…
The sun
The moon
And you

And needing things that
I can’t have…
To make the sunrise shiver
To brush the moonbeams up
Into a bundle and hang them
In a corner of the sky

And loving things that
Can’t be mine
You
You
You.



Lullaby in Love


When I think of you
I think of God/Home/Country
Children/Old people

I think of ice cream and pizza
The 4th of July and the flag

I think of Christmas and noel
I think of seasons of the year
I think of gay laughter and gentle smiles
I think of sunrise and sunset
I think of dewdrops on the summer’s first rose
I think of deep strength underlying
Deep tenderness and quiet songs
Jokes that have a punch line/poems that rhyme/
And hymns of devotion

I think of joy and understanding the sadness
And peace coming through the pain.







Loving


We didn’t make it
My love
But we tried

Somewhere along the way
Our hearts wandered away
From each other

Maybe they never met.

Untitled


I want to tell you
How glad you make me feel
That I’m alive
But I don’t know
How…
Should I say because
You love me and
I’m all wrapped up
In your love

And when I’m all wrapped up in
Your love no icy fingers
Of sadness can touch me
And spoil it

Or should I say
Because I love you
And you’re all wrapped up
In mine…









I’m Sorry



My heart took wings
Again when you
Said
I didn’t mean to hurt you.


Coralee
(FOR Mama)



I love you Coralee I don’t know when it
Happened
Maybe the time you lifted your face to
Greet the rain and kissed its
Wet mouth
Or
The time you tossed your hair into the wind and I
Caught the whispered hello from
The breeze
Or
When I heard the lilt of your laughter from
Out of nowhere and felt its caress
Persuade my kindred response
Or
When you heard the gurgle of fresh water in
My mouth and pressed your fingers
Against my throat to capture
The sound
Or
When the moonbeams sprayed silver sparkle over
The evening’s dews and you cried
Because moonbeams are
Not gold
Or
The time we touched the stars with our hearts
And held them in our hands
Or
The time we coaxed and reshaped the sunset into
A rainbow
With our souls

I love you Coralee I don’t know when
It happened
There was just never a time that
I didn’t.

The Flame
(or can’t read a book by its cover)


I can’t love him I thought
He doesn’t turn me on too cool
No passion

Then he touched my hand the heat of
His touch belied his coolness

When I looked into his eyes
The flame engulfed us both.









Tears


Soft tears
Like the slow drizzle on a summer’s day
Cooling the hot pavement

Soft tears
Relieving the wanting
The needing the knowing

Coming noiselessly
Quieting old remembrances
Soothing old passions

Coming ceaselessly
Comforting old pains.


If You Go First



If you go first
I don’t want to go on
Alone

I can’t bear the world’s
Indifference
Without you or
My soul touch the skies

So if you go first
When God smiles
On you Remind him gently
You left me behind

And
He’ll understand And send His
Angels to take your place
And lift my soul to Worlds
Beyond the skies
So I too can touch your face.





The Evolution


You whispered farewell but know
That in my heart your memory
Lingers
A gentle smile
A passionate embrace
A fleeting moment when the world
Stood still
And we evolved around it.



Wanting

If you were mine I’d take the sun
And hang it on your door
And whisper to your waiting heart
It’s you that I adore

If you were mine I’d take the stars
And cluster them around
Thy head, O my beloved one
And make for thee a crown

If you were mine I’d bring the moon
To lay at thy dear feet
And gently touch your willing lips
Imprison you close, my sweet

In vain, I still my waiting soul
And hide my jealous heart
For others catch me gazing, yearningly
Where thou art!
Knowing

Could I but know within my heart
That you belong to me
I could then let thy own heart know
How much I worship thee

There would be no song on earth
I would not gladly sing
There would be no gift on earth
I would not freely bring

I’d make each shining, singing hour
Of your everyday complete
And all I now possess and will
I’d lay at thy dear feet

Ah! But I know within my heart
You’ll never belong to me
Yet I’ll love thee as I love thee now
Through all eternity.

We Wept

I wept because
I lost him
He cried
He sought me again
I asked time to consider
And wept
I lent my love
He gave his insisted
And wept
He asked forgiveness I asked time
To consider
And wept
I asked forgiveness he forgave
And wept
We’d found each other again
We wept together.


Perhaps

One day you will love me
Forever Again
Perhaps not now…
But one day
When this new flame
Is gone
You’ll tell me she didn’t
Fill your needs And
The last interlude
Is finished
We’ll barter for Heaven
Once more
And count the cost this time
When this new ecstasy
Is spent
One day you will love me
Forever again
Not now But one day
When this new fever
Has left.

Love’s Lesson

Ne’er love too deeply or like petals of a flower
Your heart will be crushed in twain
And having loved so deeply your tortured soul
Will never love again

Ne’er love too wildly or like raging fires
Though bewitching while unchecked they burn
All beauty by untameness born
Once quenched will ne’er return

Ne’er love too freely nor too long
Or like dawn’s rising sun
Few hours of beauty ‘till turn of eve
Love’s fleeting day is done

Love with only half yourself
With only half your heart
And when that half is torn in twain
Then love with the other part.



Love Song



I’m singing you
A love song without music
I can only give you the words
The music is in my heart
I offer you my heart
Then you’ll have the words and music
A complete love song
From me with passion and beauty
And you can sing me
A love song
And we can exchange love songs
Between our hearts.


The Escape


Let me go-
I must not love you
I’m all tied up in your ecstasy
You’re all tied up in mine
But life-
Daily monotony-
Must go- on
I must not yield to the tempting way
We must tolerate the pain of the world
As other lovers do
So
I must take back my craving for you
My capacity for the passion
Of you-
I must give you coldness instead-emptiness-
Heartlessly I escape into myself and
Myself belongs to you.




Only God and I can Know


I have a secret but one doesn’t
Tell a secret
And only God and I can know
So when I touch your hand
Again or
Smile at you
Or when my eyes forget to conceal
My desire
And pick up the smoldering
Embers there and
Coax them into a flame
Remember I would tell you
Our secret my love
But only God and I can know.

The Waiting Heart



Dear one the world would vanish far
If ever we would part
If I looked up to catch your gaze
And found no waiting heart

If I came home to greet the dark
And found no soft hello
If I came in to say goodnight
And you were gone before

Dear one our lives are one with God
And I am one with you
And you are in the deepest heart
Of everything I do

So if I fail to tell you
Or my heart to let you know
Remember I’ll always love you
And just wanted to tell you so.



Confession


Forgive me
I hurt you last night

I saw a tear
Upon your eyelid

I dared not tell you then
Instead I cried too because
I made you cry

Forgive me
I dared not tell you last night
But I love you too.

Big Girls Don’t Cry


I can bear the pain this time
I’ve grown some
Or hadn’t you noticed

I can smile now
To cover the pain inside
Or hadn’t you noticed

I can cry now and make
My heart keep my secret until
My tears are dry

Yes I’m a big girl now
And big girls don’t cry
With their hearts.


JOY


COMETH


IN


THE


MORNING





BY
EDELIN COLEMAN FIELDS








O Holy Mother Mary
Pray For Us


O holy Mother Mary
Blessed Mother of God
Pray for us this night
The birthday of our Lord

Fill our hearts with heavenly love
With peace and utter joy
The birthday of our Jesus
Your beautiful baby boy

Pray for us that we receive Him
In this truly miraculous birth
Worship and adore Him
As he suckles at your breast

The child you hold is our Savior
We thank God for this priceless treasure
And when you hear Him cry softly you know
Even now He is crying for man’s sins and so

You hold Him closely and softly sing
To Jesus your son
And Jesus your King

And then I hear you gently say
Rejoice! My son this holy day
Now that You’re here the earth should ring
With glorious alleluias! for You our King

She tucks Him into His manger crib again and sings
Peace on earth and good will to men
Alleluia! Alleluia!

Amen! Amen!


Mary’s Little Baby


Mary’s little baby was born on
Christmas Day and
I hear all the wisemen and all
The angels say
That Mary’s little baby will someday
Be our King
And I hear all the shepherds and I hear
Joseph sing
“Glory to God in heaven and on earth
good will to men
“That Mary’s little baby will save
our souls from sin.”






Winter peace




The barren trees
Glistening with pearly
Snow drops
The hush of trees

No longer ripening
With spring
Or bursting
With summer
Or rustling
With autumn

The quiet…the calm…the silence…
Of trees and snow and God.

Nothing to bring


He was as poor as the newborn King
He had nothing of riches, nothing to bring

Tears filled his eyes at the manger bed
I have nothing to give to the King, he said
Nothing of riches, nothing to bring
Nothing to give to the newborn King

The King looked up from the manger crib
I have no riches my King to give
Nothing at all but myself to bring
To you my adored and newborn King

I have your love the King’s eyes said
I need no riches ‘round my manger bed
You’ve given me your heart, my child, instead
So you’ve given me enough, the adored King said

The little boy smiled and turned away
His heart so happy that hallowed day
That he had pleased the newborn King
With nothing of riches but his heart to bring

He who has nothing but love to give
To the adored King in the manger crib
Will find it enough, ‘twill always be
For the newborn King eternally.





Joy!


Joy!
Joy!
Joy!

The beautiful
Baby boy!

Born in Bethlehem’s stable
Of Mother Mary so sweet
Purest son of heaven
Joy!
And love!
And peace!


O Bethlehem!



O Bethlehem!
Tonight we sing
Of angels and the
Joy they bring

Of love and peace
And peace on earth
As we proclaim
Messiah’s birth

O Bethlehem!
The stars foretold
Of kings and shepherds
Of young and old

Who come to worship
Our Dear Lord
And spread love’s message
All abroad

Our Lord is born
The one we sought
O what! O what!
Has our God wrought!

O Bethlehem!
No poet can pen
Of peace on earth
Good will to men.

christmas

christmas is here!

A bundle of joy!

Bursting at the seams
With movement…
And merriment…
And all tied up with
L
O
V
E





Jesus is born



Dearest Jesus Holy Child
Born of Mary meek and mild
Come to earth manger lowly
Precious Jesus fair and holy

Angels sang glad songs above
Shepherds came to give their love
Wisemen traveled long and far
Following the heavenly star

Christ our Savior now is born
On that hallowed Christmas morn
Sing alleluia Messiah’s birth
Love and Joy and Peace on earth.




Candle candle burning bright


Candle candle burning bright
Light my heart with love tonight

Lead me to the manger lowly
On this christmas night so holy

Let my heart find Christ our King
Let my ears hear angels sing

Let my anxious feet not stray
From the stables far away

I must worship my Lord inside
Let Him in my heart abide

Candle candle burning bright
Light my heart with love tonight.




Santa Claus is Coming Tonight
(For my grandchildren: Kimberly, Kari and Kandice)


Softly tiptoe into bed
Pull the covers over your heads
Santa Claus is coming tonight

Did you eat your carrots and peas
‘Cause Santa always sees
And Santa is coming tonight

Did you write to Santa and his elves
Did you mind mommy and behave yourselves
Santa Claus is coming tonight

Did you hang your stockings in place
On the mantle above the fireplace
For Santa Claus is coming tonight

If you were good the whole year through
Santa has many nice things for you
And Santa Claus is coming tonight.


The King

Did you see the King little lamb
Did you see the King little lamb
Did you find the Savior lowly
Did you see our Savior holy
Did you see the King little lamb

Did you see the kings little lamb
Did you see the kings little lamb
Came to worship at His feet
Came their King from heav’n to greet
Did you see the King little lamb

Did you see the shepherds little lamb
Did you see the shepherds little lamb
Did you see them with their staffs
Seeking what had come to pass
Did you see the King little lamb

Did you see the wisemen little lamb
Did you see the wisemen little lamb
Did you see them richly dressed
Came to see our Savior blessed
Did you see the King little lamb

Did you love the King little lamb
Did you love the King little lamb
Did your heart thrill at the sight
On that hallowed holy night
Did you love the King little lamb

Did they love him too little lamb
Did they love him too little lamb
Kings and shepherds wismen three
Came our blessed Lord to see
Jesus Christ of Bethlehem
Hope joy and peace of man
Mary and Joseph at His side
God on earth personified
Did they love Him too little lamb

Did you know the King little lamb
Did you know the King little lamb
Let glad alleluias ring
Kings and wisemen and shepherds sing
And all who know the King little lamb


Christmas Benediction


Lift up the light of your loving countenance
Upon us O Jesus Christ our Lord

Let us travel with You back beyond your resurrection
And your cross
To that beatified Christmas Day
That we may worship and adore You in Bethlehem

Command all the forces of nature that tremble
At your will to gather this day
And honor You
And magnify your name
And bow their hearts too
In humble submission

And as they obey we unite our hearts in
Praise!
And perfect peace! Of
Christmas joy! And all of earth rejoices

For Our King is come!
Our King is come!

And until we meet you face to face
O blessed hope of the world
Joy of God…

Hold us in the palm of your beautiful, powerful hands that we
May magnify your Name forever

Alleluia!
Alleluia!
And Amen!

A CHRISTMAS TRIBUTE TO MY MAMA:

Mama and Christmas


Mama started Christmas each year as if it were hers and ours alone to be happy and to rest from the harshness of the whole year.

It was as though her tired heart was at last able to realize
her desire to show her deep love for us four children in more
tangible ways.

The old curtains looked new after she had dyed them to
match the couch cover she had saved for all year. Just the right
shade of green to blend with the faded rug covering the middle
of the splintered, varnished floor.

Paint was everywhere. Everything must be spanking brand-
new for the Holy day of Our Lord.

Christmas cards for family and friends- as many as meager
money would allow- were a must. It was a joyful occasion to
select- with our help as we grew old enough- the most appropriate
for each individual personality to which a card was sent.
All with religious significance.

For days the excitement and merriment of the approaching
Christmas Day and the anticipation of Christmas Eve and Santa
Claus kept us euphoric.

And late on Christmas Eve, when everything was in place
but the tree, and almost all of the trees had been sold, and the
lowest prices were being asked for the few remaining ones, she
would put on that old felt hat and that year before last coat
and those shoes with the twisted-over heels (there was not
money to have her heels repaired, only ours), and go out to find
a real cedar or pine, with the fragrance of the forest still clinging
to it, and drag it home.

Then we would all dress the tree and the house would be
alive with the good aromas of Christmas and the melodies of carols.
And somehow that real Christmas tree with its many shining bulbs
made all the difference on Christmas Eve.

Though a poor widow- not ever were four children
disappointed for lack of at least one toy to make our Christmas
happy.

And on Christmas day- the food never gave out so that
we didn’t have to be cautious about eating too much. And
mama would smile because she knew that we knew that we
could eat as much as we wanted on this special Day and there
would always be something left over-in addition to the huge
helping of love she put into each dish she prepared for us.



Mama would smile all Christmas Day and laugh that special
happy laugh because we were all together – we were all happy –
we loved each other – we love God and Jesus our Savior
and it was His Birthday!

To Mama that was what Christmas was all about.


WHAT’S AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW?




by
Edelin Coleman Fields






what’s at the end of the rainbow?

“what’s at the end of the rainbow?”
the little boy with eager eyes
inquired of his busy mother
as he stood by her side

his mother turned away from her chores
“I’m busy, can’t you see?
I don’t have time to talk to you now
please don’t bother me”

the little boy wavered not a bit
“this is not a question to you
I thought you might like to know”
and he smiled, as little boys often do

“’cause I think I know,” he confided
as she turned to him with a nod
“’cause when I see the rainbow
I see the face of God!”

the wrinkles


mother, he’s so old and bent
his face is wrinkled, too
why didn’t God make him
like He had made me and you

what good is he to anyone
on that old walking cane
even the wrinkles on his face
look sad and full of pain

I smiled at him and he smiled back
I wondered, then, why he
could smile at me in just that way
so old and sick was he

I thought before I answered
and felt a sweet release
as God gave me the words to say
to set his heart at peace

then I, in my tiny wisdom
tried to make him see
that God had loved that man so much
He had made him like you and me

God in His great wisdom
had sent angels from above
to touch that weary old man’s face
with wrinkles made of love

He had given him more years
to seek and fulfill His plan
and He’d shared His world the longer
with this wrinkled, weary man


the secret


“I have a secret hiding place
mother,” he said to me
“and no one knows about it
except my friend, you see

“it’s beneath the house, over there
and he pointed across the street
“and that is where I like to go
when my best friend and I meet

“its better than the swimming pool
or playing in the snow
for no one knows when we are there
a secret’s fun, you know”

I smiled at him because I know
a secret is undone
if you don’t keep it to yourself
but share it with someone

and so I told him gently
as all good mothers do
“a secret is not a secret
if it’s not between God and you”

so then I further cautioned
in reminding him of God
“share your secret with Him alone
and bury it in your own heart”

but I’m so happy he shared it
and happier I’ve never been
because he loved me enough to know
a mother’s your best friend


the bird with the broken wing


“mother, come quickly,” he said
with teardrops in his eyes
“the little bird with the broken wing
oh, mother, he has died

“why did he die, dear mother?”
my precious son said to me
“he only had a broken wing
and I just cannot see
why God did not hear my prayer
and let his wings get well

“we patched it up so nicely
that no one else could tell
that it was ever broken
and he looked just brand new
I wonder why God didn’t hear me
as he promised He would do

“whenever we have problems
and kneel and pray to him
and that’s what I did, mother
for the bird with the broken wing

“but, mother, I know the reason
why Jesus didn’t answer my prayer
just because he didn’t answer this time
doesn’t mean that he wasn’t there

“but sometimes he lets our love
hurt a little too
so we can be more happy
when the next prayer gets through

“and somewhere in God’s heaven
wherever His angles sing
I know there’s a chair for the little bird
that died with the broken wing

“and when I get to heaven
I know that I will see
the little bird with the broken wing
that meant so much to me.”


rain